Thursday, May 14, 2009

This blog brought to your by Listerine!

I am terrified by dentists. There is no basis for this fear, seeing as I have never had to have anything more than a cleaning done in my life, but never the less, terrified. Due to my fear I am sort of nuts about brushing, flossing and using mouth wash, but I am always convinced that I still have cavities.

This is why it has been over 5 years since I have seen a dentist.

Brett is also good about tooth maintenance, however because we have had a busy couple of years it had been 2 years since his last cleaning.

Since we have a new dental plan, and have moved since our last appointments we decided to find someone who was:

a. close to the house
b. had a name we could pronounce
c. had office hours on the weekends

Brett found Dr. Paul Harris, a graduate from Maryland University (which gave him credibility with Brett), and who's office was open on Saturday and within walking distance of our house. Perfect.

We made our Saturday appointments back-to-back so we could tag team taking care of the kids.

The night before, Brett and I had date night and I couldn't stop talking about how paranoid I was that I would have a minimum of 6 cavities. This conversation prompted Brett to say I was crazy, and then for us to make a bet.

If I had 6 or more cavities he would get me a dog (to make it all worth while... I have been begging for a dog recently). If I had no cavities, no dog.

Saturday morning I get dressed and head over to the dentist.

The dentists office sort of freaked me out more. It was in the Seoul Plaza - a mini strip shopping center (as mentioned in previous blogs we live in Korea Town). Seoul Plaza has other interesting store fronts including, a charcoal chicken place, a traditional porridge cafe, and a gentleman's bar that is rumored to be running a prostitution ring. Classy.

The receptionist brought me back to a miniature room, which probably seemed smaller in comparison to the enormous bottle of Listerine that was sitting in the corner. This bottle was bigger than something you would find at Costco. I would guess AT LEAST 5 gallons.

As I looked around nervously the hygienist/receptionist (because they were the same person) asked if I was really this shy or just nervous. I admitted to being afraid of dentists, which is over heard by Dr. Harris, who runs in the room and announces that he has 2 rules:

1. No pain - he will not hurt me, if he does tell him and he will stop.

2. No pain - I am not allowed to bite.

He clearly thought he was funny. I did not.

The rest of the time that I was there he proceeded to curse (clearly trying to be "cool") and tell me his philosophy of dentistry... all you need to do is use Listerine twice a day for a minute each day. He even said that tooth paste is unnecessary, and was only invented so that kids liked the taste; and that flossing regularly was a waste, you only needed to when you had something stuck between your teeth.

He x-rayed my mouth and told me that I was cavity-free and that my teeth looked so good he couldn't believe that I hadn't seen a dentist in 5 years.

After my appointment (or what I consider to be a long Listerine commercial) I left knowing that my chances of getting a dog were slim to none, but higher than ever going back to see Dr. Harris.

Anyone have a recommendation for a nice, non-Listerine obsessed dentist?

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